That sounds so soon, but then again might not come fast enough!
I feel like I need to start any complaints with a disclaimer: I know how amazing it is that my body can be going through this huge miracle. There are times where I am so humbled and in awe of such a little sweet creation thriving inside of my body and that for this short period of time, my body can hold an extra body and spirit. Also, that my body automatically proceedsthrough the changes and processes that need to happen to make this possible and to give such life, of which I have absolutely no mental power or control. Although unreal as it can seem at times, it's pretty amazing, especially when I feel her move and have unconsciously created such an attachment to her.
BUT- it can be pretty miserable too.
Maybe since this picture I've gone through a growth spurt- or maybe not and it's all in my head, but I'm definitely out of the tender 2nd trimester and onto the exhausting 3rd. I wonder how in the world can I grow for 3 more months and if it's already this uncomfortable, I don't know how I'll be able to stand being in my own skin. Granted, I have the worst stuffy nose right now that's causing me more grief and loss of sleep compared to what any pregnancy symptoms have caused and I have to deal while Mike gets to pop any meds he wants for quick relief. (He does wake up at night as I try to cope with my discomforts, maybe that makes it fair.)
Now adding to that, my growing body is getting in my own way. Worst of all is my sciatica/ PGP pains that come and go- at least they aren't constant yet. I can't bend without smashing my stomach and feeling a flare of heartburn in the process. Things such as shaving or putting lotion on my legs, putting on socks, clipping my toenails ( I get way to winded and exhausted to even attempt painting my toenails), picking up all the little things I clumsily drop, and anything else that involves bending forward is just too hard with a big bump in the way. Also, my skin feels tight all over my body, I'm watching new dimples (that sounds a little better than cottage cheese) creep down my legs, stretch marks pop up out of no where, other body parts seem to be excessively large, I've got colostrum (if you don't know what that is, don't ask), I'm less tolerable of the heat, and this is the most pathetic, but I feel like I loosing definition between my chin and neck, making my face look fat.
Yes, pregnancy is terminal and I'll have a little baby in my arms along with room in my gut. And yes, I can work hard to get my body into shape. If I'm really desperate down the road, there's always surgery! But I don't really get any comfort from these since I'd first have to acknowledge that this baby will have to come out of me -I think I'm in denial of what my options are for that.
Beautiful as it is, sometimes it's very overwhelming. Now read my disclaimer again so you know I'm so grateful for out little baby.
9 comments:
I'm with you, Dyami! I expected to have morning sickness and cravings, and to gain weight but there are SO many things nobody mentioned. Lately I can barely even WALK--aparently just before the baby comes your ligaments and joints get all loose and it HURTS! I am just 12 days from my due date, so you're a ways off still. But yeah, I know a bit what you're going through!
Hang in there! It will get better, I promise. It'll all be worth it in the end when you have that sweet little girl to show for the stretch marks and pain. And seriously, labor is not as hard as your fears and worries are. Your body is made to do this and knows what it is doing. If I can do it, you can.
And then all the horrible postpartum stuff comes, but I won't freak you out about that stuff...
I'm not going to tell you that it's all worth it (you already know all that...) I'm gonna bi**h and moan with you! NOT that I am pregnant, but seriously, just thinking about going through all of that again is enough birth control for me than ANYTHING ELSE!! Whoever the first comment is, I totally agree with you, when I first got pregnant with Justin, I totally expected the morning sickness, body aches, etc. BUT COME ON!!! NO ONE told me about ALLLL the other things...yeah, like colostrum for example. I was SO there too...I thought something was going WRONG and called the doctor!!!! (LOL) It's really a good sign, but still, SO ANNOYING!! Hang in there, this too shall pass. We really need a medal for going through all of this. And yes, I will get pregnant again, but it's only when I cannot deny the Spirit telling me it's time!
YEAH! I love it... (not really) but I am just so happy that you get to experience it all.
I liked this alot :) I Love you!! You're almost there... And I'll TOTALLY come paint your toes for you :) I'll be down in the area on Sunday night, you gonna be home? :) NOT KIDDING!!!
Haha I loved that post--I can't believe you're almost DONE!
you look beautiful! you really do! i'm excited for her to come:)
Remember, pregnancy sucks. And eat first. And ask - no BEG for a laxative. Take a movie that you like. And don't feel bad when you barf. And get and epidural
OH, and ask about the anesthesiologist with the finny suspenders- HE'S AWAOM.
er that's Awesome . . .*mumbles about the laptop key board*
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